Turner & Hooch (1989)

"How long has this dog been bleeding?"
"Not long enough!"

I've been anxiously awaiting this one for the entire Hanks season (Hankstide?). I don't recall whether someone asked me specifically what my favorite Hanx film was, or if I posed the question to myself, but it didn't take me much thought to decide on Turner & Hooch. It's not the most obvious choice. It's not one of his biggest hits or deepest roles, but it really is a lot of fun. 

Hanx once again steps into the polished Oxfords of a police detective (oops, investigator) that he last donned in Dragnet. Only this time, the character he portrays is pretty much the polar opposite of Pep Streebek. Matter-of-fact, compulsively neat, procedure-driven Scott Turner would probably hate Pep Streebek, or at the very least find him impossible to live with. Turner is Joe Friday with just a little less procedural gravitas and a little more humor - he does an impeccable job of steaming his suits and polishing his shoes, but he also takes delight in heckling the county sheriff's officers and making quips about the dating scene in the sleepy town of Cypress Beach. 

Enter Hooch, a massive, slobbering hulk of a dog (a French Mastiff or Dogue de Bordeaux, if you were wondering) belonging to an old man who's just been murdered. As the only witness to the crime, Hooch becomes a valuable asset to the investigation, and much to Turner's chagrin, his de facto pet. Hooch, who subsists on a steady diet of beer and chocolate chip cookies, throws Turner's immaculate, well-ordered lifestyle into chaos, and keeping the destructive pooch from chewing, smashing, or eating everything he owns becomes as much of a job as solving the mystery. Rounding out the cast are "I've spent more time in a cop's uniform than actual cops" Reginald VelJohnson as Turner's partner David Sutton, Mare Winnigham as local vet Emily Carson, and Craig T. Nelson as police chief Howard Hyde.

I'll be perfectly frank – part of the reason there's been so much space between my last entry and this one is because I just don't know what to say about it. I've seen it so many times that it's difficult to approach it with fresh eyes, to really break it down and analyze it and try to understand exactly what I love so much about it. Maybe a part of me was a little worried that if I stared too hard at it, I'd bust whatever magic it held for me. At the same time, it makes me uncomfortable that this is a question I still haven't really got a logical answer for, so let's just try to itemize the points of appeal.

    1. Tom Hanks. This one's obvious. Any movie with Tom Hanks is better than a movie without Tom Hanks.

    2. Comedy. When given a choice, I will almost always choose a comedy over any other kind of film. Life is way too serious. A little escapism is always good.

    3. Mystery. Who doesn't love a good whodunit? I'm a hardcore devotee of shows like Forensic Files, and when I don't have to choose between a good comedy and a good mystery, more's the better.

    4. Romance. Yep, I'm a typical female in that I like to see the guy get the girl. The beauty of the romantic subplot in this film is that it never eclipses the main story. But Hanx is a good guy, so you can't help but want good things to happen to him. And with a dog like hooch, a veterinarian is pretty much the best kind of girlfriend a guy could have.

    5. Dogs. As a kid, I was pretty terrified of dogs. As I got older, though, I really started to miss never having had one when I was a kid. I finally got the chance when I was about 16. She was a sweet, goofy, loveable mutt who wasn't quite as messy as Hooch, but she was responsible for the destruction of a bathing suit, some video tape cases, and a few candy bars. I loved her desperately, and it hit me like a ton of bricks when she died. Anyone who's ever had a dog will tell you that if you treat him well, a dog will love you more than most humans in your life ever will. Watching the friendship that blossoms between Turner and Hooch is like seeing your kid master riding a bike for the first time. There's just something beautifully satisfying about it.

So there you have it, really. I'm honestly quite pleased to be able to lay it all out, and if anything, it reaffirms my confidence in Turner and Hooch as my favorite Hanx outing (to date, anyway). And I won't lie, it really, really makes me miss having a dog.

All that aside, I typically like to include a bit of trivia with every entry, and this was by far the best tidbit I could find on this one. When Pixar approached Hanx for the role of Woody the cowboy in Toy Story, they came equipped with a bit of test footage that animated Woody speaking lines from Turner and Hooch, specifically the scene where Hooch is devouring the headrest in Turner's patrol car. Needless to say, Hanx enjoyed this so thoroughly that he accepted the role on the spot. Here it is, in its hilarious, if brief, glory. Enjoy.